5.30 AM.
The alarm buzzes under my pillow. A drowsy finger heads for that left button to snooze it off.
5.35 AM.
The snooze goes off now. The same finger presses the same button. But this time, the alarm moves on to the other side of the pillow.
5.40 AM.
The snooze goes off yet again! Enough! Wake up u bozo!
Is it not strange! With so many things, living and non living, around, it is that one piece of machinery that makes you start your day. You head out to office, you meet up with so many people, you see so many things, yet there is not one of them that can replace that darned alarm! That the alarm also happens to be my cell phone is better left unsaid. Or is it too late now?
Its that same piece of plastic and metal that I bought a long long time ago. Bengaluru... or Bangalore as it was when it was my home. Of wakin up in the morning, heading out to the gate to get the packets of milk in. Set it up to boil. Tell Nayyar to take care of it. Wake up Dhawan and head out for the mornin jog. Wake up Verma. Get your breakfast ready, pack your lunch that the cook just made. Peek into Sharan's room to make sure he was up. Get your clothes out. Iron them more often than not. Wake up Baijal and head out to work. Walk the distance to the bus stop with Verma, Nayyar and Bhutani.
Life was so organised back then...
Flash forward a year and a half...
Wake up in the mornin... head to the gym... pump some iron and run a few kilometres... get a glass of milk from mom... get someone to drop u to the bus stop. Call up someone in the bus to ask them to hold the bus at the stop for a couple of minutes... finally get in and turn on the AC vents at full blast... doze off for the next 45 minutes...
Life's become a drag... I don't think I could ever head back to livin a life away from home. But time and time again, my thoughts do wander back to the good old days of Bangalore. More with a sense of satisfaction that I've been there and done that. Life's never gonna be the same again... at least not if i can help it.
But even here in the World City, would I ever be able to get rid of all the dependencies that I have created with such ease? I guess not! Its plain and simple human psychology to get work off ur plate onto someone else's. But I sure hope I'd be able to turn this around... at least for once!
Just to prove my shadow wrong!
I can... and I will!
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Monday, May 01, 2006
Who am I?
Just a normal guy. Or so i thought...
until that fateful day...
The entire world seemed to change in the flash of an eyelid. And when I opened my eyes, there I was... standing in a sun kissed field with dew drops hanging on to the tips of the leaves. The surrounding touched all the five senses deep within. Something within me wanted to break out into a run in the field. And i did precisely that!
But then when I looked back after having covered a couple of hundred metres, I was surprised to see someone standing right where I had started off from. And lo and behold! That someone looked an exact replica of me. A battering of an eyelid later, I could see someone way ahead, turning to look at me. And there I was... lost in myself and in the world... nowhere to go and no place to hide. I was all alone there, with a shadow of myself for company.
Waking up from my sleep, I suddenly felt as though the rays falling on my face were so pure, the crisp breeze coming in through the window smelt so different! That indeed was a moment of self realisation. And life's never been the same again. Here I am... in pursuit of that elusive me, wandering and loitering around to reach myself. And time and time again, when I think I've reached myself, when I turn around, I can still see myself far far away...
I know that there never will be a moment when the 2 me's will meet up. Because that's what life is. Amidst all the searching and the wandering, life goes on... spurring you on to newer heights. But where people forget their roots, I take a break and think about the times gone by... and thank thee Lord.
It's been a long journey on the road called life. But I still don't know where I am... I don't know where I'm headed to... I don't know when I'll reach my destination...
But the journey sure has been exhilerating. And its had its own ups and downs.
Can't write no more as I'm still trying to find out what it is that makes me run my fingers over a keyboard. Let me know if you have any idea what it is!
:)
Nick
until that fateful day...
The entire world seemed to change in the flash of an eyelid. And when I opened my eyes, there I was... standing in a sun kissed field with dew drops hanging on to the tips of the leaves. The surrounding touched all the five senses deep within. Something within me wanted to break out into a run in the field. And i did precisely that!
But then when I looked back after having covered a couple of hundred metres, I was surprised to see someone standing right where I had started off from. And lo and behold! That someone looked an exact replica of me. A battering of an eyelid later, I could see someone way ahead, turning to look at me. And there I was... lost in myself and in the world... nowhere to go and no place to hide. I was all alone there, with a shadow of myself for company.
Waking up from my sleep, I suddenly felt as though the rays falling on my face were so pure, the crisp breeze coming in through the window smelt so different! That indeed was a moment of self realisation. And life's never been the same again. Here I am... in pursuit of that elusive me, wandering and loitering around to reach myself. And time and time again, when I think I've reached myself, when I turn around, I can still see myself far far away...
I know that there never will be a moment when the 2 me's will meet up. Because that's what life is. Amidst all the searching and the wandering, life goes on... spurring you on to newer heights. But where people forget their roots, I take a break and think about the times gone by... and thank thee Lord.
It's been a long journey on the road called life. But I still don't know where I am... I don't know where I'm headed to... I don't know when I'll reach my destination...
But the journey sure has been exhilerating. And its had its own ups and downs.
Can't write no more as I'm still trying to find out what it is that makes me run my fingers over a keyboard. Let me know if you have any idea what it is!
:)
Nick
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