A life lived in a lie

There are people aplenty

Who see me everyday

Some like me in the morning

And some during the rest of the day

To those that think they know me

You couldn't be more wrong

The few that really do, are a myth now

Its indeed been long

Some say I'm the perfect man

Oh boy, I hear myself say

I wish I could be just that

But its been a while and I'm astray

Changes aplenty, nothing's the same

The longing for the days gone by

Its all gone, its here no more

Only memories of yore flash by

Questioning what I learn from mistakes

Wishing I could go back in time

If only that one moment, I could undo

I'd not be here, but another place and time

The crisp sunshine after a heavy shower

The air so clear, the colors bend in the rain

The smell of a new life...

I can dream on, but all in vain

Its here now, the moment of truth

Beckoning forever and I can't deny no more

Sailing the oceans has never been easy

Something within must begin to roar

- Dated November 10th, 2010 3:00 am as I listen to Default's "Live a lie"

The title inspired by the song, and the post by the lyrics:

Still don't see much of me giving in
Much too strong to live outside these sins
Feeling like I'm taken lightly, think you see right through me
Words of those that still despise me, think it's eating me, you're dreaming

One page writeup, one last time!

As the plane soars some 30000 feet above sea level, nostalgia creeps over me. Suddenly the prospect of writing something is not dreadful anymore, simply because this will not be graded, this submission does not have any deadline associated with it, simply because my major will not be affected by how well or poor I write this. Sigh!
It’s been a year of whirlwind activity, culminating with some very awkward and phenomenal days in the past 2 months. With fortunes swinging like a pendulum, there was never a thought I wanted to put down here, but today, 90 minutes away from home, before the flight lands, I know I want to pen something here.
Ok, for formalities, let’s begin by announcing – yes! I have completed my MBA from the Indian School of Business, ranked #12 in the Financial Times’ list of global B Schools. It’s a proud moment, and one that still has to sink in. The awesome campus, the superb friends, the many places within, the many memories, they’re all for keeps!
It is funny how having lived the life of a nomad over the last 5 years makes moving out of school such an emotionally easy experience for me, compared to sentiments overflowing all around. But when the plane took off from Hyderabad some 30 minutes ago, there was a faint feeling of déjà vu, and I went back some 3 years when I was moving back to India for the first time. Sigh, again!
Shyte! I can’t believe, I just hit Ctrl-A, Ctrl-J, and was almost about to add a border to this page! I guess there will be these remnants from the life of a B School student that will always stay with me. Nevertheless, I’m looking forward to 2 new cars at home, the new house, the new job beginning in about 10 weeks, but more than any of these, the next 10 weeks. It will be a break from the life on campus that sped past at the speed of light. I know the next few weeks will be the adjustment phase. Been there, done that! J
But before all that, a revisit to the times gone by - It seems like but yesterday when I boarded to go to school after having moved back to India. New faces, new names, excitement, apprehension, the jostling, the networking, the put on smiles, and the many genuine ones too somewhere between all of that. And then a year passed by and I’m on the other side with nothing to hold on to but memories from arguably the best year of my life till date – well, almost! J
April 3, 2010 was momentous. The day I graduated. Also the day I received the ‘Alumni’ ID card. Also the day when I had dinner with my chums from school for the last time. Also the day when I partied for the last time. And took the morning walk to the dam on campus at 7 in the morning before finally sleeping. Its way too much that’s flowing through my mind at this point in time for me to make any corrigible sense here on my blog, but I promise, someday I will explain all of this if you care to know.
And then the ode to my gang here (oh shyte! It’s not ‘here’ anymore! It’s now ‘there!’). Time to move on Nick! But then, some of the better friends I’ve made in a while now. I guess there is something different about your school friends, and then something different again about your friends when you’re away from home. And with B School being a mix of both, you can imagine what I’m finding hard to put in words. And until I do so, I shall leave just this here. So long!

Dated: April 4, 2010